Adrian Mole…what have you done to my brain?

I’ve been influenced by Adrian Mole, of all people, to start writing my diary on my blog. For some silly reason I have put on rave music while I am writing my first entry.

Great reading…but now I have to write my diary Photo by cdrummsbk

Why am I doing this?

I’m a writer, I need to express my views and my voice through words. Wring like this is the best way I can do it. As an author, hopefully you’ll read my books because of my voice, so by writing every day I can entertain you, give you little snippets of my life here in Spain, and maybe make you laugh now and then.

How often?

I told myself every day, but life will get in the way, with work, kids, and my novels, there may be days when I don’t write, or just can’t. Some days words don’t come out, others they pour out too much and I lose the ability to turn off the tap.

A blog is officially a diary, and I have always loved writing the diary form. I think I work better that way, writing down my thoughts on a daily basis. I just read over some old diary notes, and it can be funny, can be emotional, and can also be a pile of caca. So I’ll try to sieve out the caca with the special caca screening machine I have.

These posts will be short, between 100-500 words. I can normally write 1,000 words in 25 minutes. I read this technique once in a book, and find that writing fast works better for me; it lets the creative juices flow.

The book, can’t remember the name, said you just write, as if you were in the pub with a mate, telling them a story. Then, a bit later, you go back and edit out the crap. If only we could do that in real life, right?

I’ve also started writing on my phone, I wrote a bit this morning when I got to class and was waiting for the students to turn up, and some more this afternoon.

Monday 27th November 2017

Knowing I have a 6 day week is killer, but at least I have work.

El lunes, aqui estamos, said the cleaner. She’s a lovely lady, two kids both grown up. I wonder what time she wakes up. She seems like the office gossip. Sure she spreads rumours and goes into people’s bins to see what they ate the previous day. Then goes home and keeps a chart.

Just heard woman downstairs shout. Qué has hecho? Cos the receptionist has cut her hair. Sure she is well fucked off now. Hija de puta, she is probably thinking. I need my haircut and if anyone said the same I would kill them.

So, second coffee of the hour. Monday morning, waiting for my two best students to turn up. Had to explain to M three times the kings names. Balthazar, Melchior and Caspar. He has 3 figures that my wife had hidden from last year. They are cute, but so fragile. Why can’t they make them out of plastic? Last year Mateo balled his eyes out after one smashed on our marble floor. Now when they fight over them I worry that they will knock them out of each other’s hands and smash to smitherines. I’ll have to make sure they only fight on the rug.

On the way to work

I’ve realized I think a lot of silly thoughts, especially while reading Adrian Mole.

Waiting for the metro, leaning on the firedriill machine. Every day I worry about setting it off. But I just it properly and it’s only an intercom. If I could announce anything it would be that I’ve almost finished my Xmas shopping and it’s not even December. I wonder if I’d get a few weird looks, or just a measly round of applause. I’d be more likely to be arrested for making an announcement. Thinking about it, I could just shout out that I’ve finished my Xmas shopping, in English, and see the response.

People are wearing jackets on the metro now. I probably wear a jacket in the day about one week of the year, in January, unless it’s raining. Picked up Mateo in t-shirt today. Lots of people had jackets on, but it was like an English summer.

Just realized I have black pen on my forearm. Initially thought it was the kids as they were playing with the black board, but realized they were using chalk. So it must have been me this morning in class. How am I going to explain that to my students, and work colleagues?

So in class I was doing about crocodiles. It was a random story in the book, so I put on crocodile shoes by Jimmy Nail. I’d planned to tell the class that when I was a teenager at school a few mates used to take the piss out of me because I looked like him. Anyway, so one student turns round to his mate and says, ‘Barry looks just like the singer.’ We had a good old laugh.

Have to go now, working on a new book, called Mates: The Golden Years. It’s a book for men who want to look back on their life as teenagers, you know, the best years when all we were trying to do was have fun, get pissed up, and chat up girls. It’s also for teens who want to read a book about what it was like back in the 90’s, when all that was important was getting to University and not being a virgin. If you’re interested then keep following me as it’ll be out next year.

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