Austin Powers you are a cretin

Austin Powers is a cretin. Not the real Austin Powers, he’s my hero. It’s a guy I call Austin Powers.

Photo by Kiwicanary

About 2 weeks ago I was messing about on, looking for a new project to get some extra cash for Christmas. I found one writing job for (here are my articles), and the owner is top notch.

Another project was with a guy, called Austin, in the states. He said he wanted 8 articles a day. I said I could do 3 or 4. In the end I did about 10 over a 10 day period worth about $200. Anyway, we agreed the payment would be last Tuesday. I did a last one on Tuesday, and surprise surprise, he disappeared.

I thought it might be for Thanks Giving, so I let him off, being the nice chap I am.

On Friday I called him up, saying I wanted to write, but where was my payment. I’d presumed he was American, what with the name and the fact that he was registered on Skype in Orange County, NYC, but his level of English was terrible and he sounded Chinese or something. Anyway, he had the cheek to send me another job. I asked him to pay me first. He said just honour me with one more. I told him I wanted payment. That was the last time I heard from him.

If I lived in Orange County then I’d go round there and smash him over the head with a bag of oranges. He’s scum. A cheat. A liar and dishonest person. Now he’s scared me off doing anymore work with Who can you trust in this day and age anyway?

I just tried to call him again and he cut me off, 6 times. It says Active on his skype account, but he refuses to pick up. I think he is scared. If he knew me, he would probably block me from his contacts now, so I couldn’t get in contact with him.

This project I was doing wasn’t a waste of time though. It has taught me that I can write fast, and edit fast, and turn round 1,000 words in an hour or so if the topic is right. Despite having to write about Real Estate in Singapore, bloody marriage retreats in the States, and sex toys (including a dildo and penis enlarger, no I haven’t got experience using the last one), I’m actually grateful in a way because he’s opened my eyes to the fact I can write on a variety of topics.

I’d still like to get my mits on him and shake out that 200 he owes me, the cretin. I’ll try again tomorrow.

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